Chemistry? Yeah, chemistry.

It's no use trying to force chemistry. Either it's there, or it's not, or so they say. But the question remains, what is it that makes us attracted to one person and not another? There's scientific research about facial symmetry, and there's speculation about pheromones. There's the Freudian interpretation that we look for partners that resemble our opposite-sex parent physically and behaviorally, but that doesn't offer much explanation for people with an absent parent or same-sex attraction. And no amount of research can comfort you when you realize that it will never work with the person you're intellectually attracted to simply because you have no physical attraction to him.

Cole slaw

I went to the first funeral of my adult life last weekend.

Aunt Susie, also known lovingly as "Granny Grump," was my grandmother's fourth sibling and first sister amongst her 8 siblings. She had a stroke while visiting my grandmother two weeks ago, and died last week at the hospital after never regaining consciousness. She was 67.

Susie was a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a community leader. She had been active in 4-H for the entirity of her life, teaching and counseling at summer camps, serving on the local and state boards, and leading her own 4-H group, the All-Stars. She was kind and beloved by many, and will certainly be missed.

My Aunt Susie had many quirks. In the 24 years I knew her, she always wore her long, grey hair in a bun on the top of her head, with pencils and pens stuck in the bun jauntily. She said that this kept a writing utensil handy at all times. :-)

Susie loved good food, and the day she had her stroke, she and my grandmother went to my grandmother's house to make fried chicken. On the way, they passed their favorite restaurant, and Susie suggested that they stop for cole slaw. My grandmother talked her out of it, since she had cole slaw at home, but as they ate lunch, Susie talked about how she wished they had picked up the other kind, since it was so much better.

Friday night, before the wake, my mom, grandmother and I all went to that restaurant and had cole slaw. Very quietly, my grandmother said that she wished she had stopped that day, so Susie could have her slaw. My mother took her hand and pointed out that Susie is certainly having her cole slaw now.

American "On A Break"

(satire, because I just had to)

Sources close to the world-famous lovematch known as the United States indicate that the couple may be "on a break."

"They've been together for a long time," a representative for the Blue States said, "but lately it just feels like they're growing apart."

For several weeks, outsiders have speculated that the recent election may have drawn too much attention to the young match, emphasizing their differences. Red States were seen by themselves early Tuesday afternoon, but by Tuesday night, seem to have found friends to lean on.

"I don't know what Blue States's problem is," Red States said at a late-night party that night. "I just want what's best for us." In the background, Blue States's friends scoffed and made gagging motions.

A heated exchange occurred Monday night, in which Red States accused Blue States of being simple, godless Communists, and Blue States responded by calling Red States fascist, evil, and out-of-touch. Sources close to the couple, which has had a rocky history througout its short courtship, blame the wealthy friends of Red States for creating divisive, overly-moral issues that drew the couple apart.

Blue States's representative denies that Blue is seeing anyone else, but has said that Red and Blue are trying to "remain friends" through this ordeal.